cut-price flight

You cannot underestimate Jetstar: they under-perform in every way. This is a cut-price airline.

On the drive to the airport I tell my good woman how I loathe long-haul flights. She is confident a huge range of movies will entertain me via my personal seat-back screen.

In fact the aircraft boasts four overhead screens, the nearest to row 41 being six rows distant with on-screen information in Thai despite the white Anglo audience on board. Random episodes of old sitcoms grace the screen but I have no ear-phones.

I have purchased a special Apple plug so I can plug the Macbook into the special socket on long-haul planes and entertain myself by writing and reading Kindle books without concern for battery life. No such socket exists on this plane.

Row 41 backs onto the central toilet. Full but loosening bowels and bladders generate a procession to my door. Our entertainment is the jet-roar of turds being sucked into outer space and the endless banging of dunny doors.

Now that’s cut-price and no mistake.